A Father’s Story | Raising Cole
Developing Life’s Greatest Relationship, embracing Life’s Greatest Tragedy
This is a story about fatherhood
and about the simple, honest ways to create all three.
Before I begin, I have had a number of people ask me if I would blog my thoughts so I recreated the website so that it is possible. Will blog periodically but will only continue if I feel that it is helping someone. Positive feedback would be appreciated. Negative feedback will not be needed because if it affects you negatively you just need not read it. Life is too short to be hurtful or hateful. I have never considered myself to be a great father or even a great person. I have been blessed with two wonderful sons and a measure of wisdom that comes with a loss of one of them. The publisher said I had written a recipe for being the greatest father in the world and had taken away any reason or excuse one might have for not being a good father. I call this Godly wisdom as I had never thought about it before until after Cole’s untimely death. Cole and I had a wonderful relationship. One that would have strangers approach me and ask me how to have a relationship with their children like I have with mine. Cole was at the University of Texas for two years and two months. Although we may have talked several times a day every night at 9:30 my phone was going to ring and I was going to hear my son say, “Dad, I love you so-o-o-o much!” After his death the University of Texas football team was so moved by our relationship that for a year until my younger son, Chase, would go to Texas one of the players would call me at 9:30 and tell me they loved me. It was on one of these nightly calls when a football player called me, told me he loved me and then asked me this question. “Mr. Marc, I don’t have a daddy. I don’t even know who my daddy is. I don’t have a good relationship with my Mama. She only calls when she wants help with my brothers and sisters. Would you teach me how to be a good daddy?” I never really thought about it before and didn’t think about it then. It just spilled out of me coming from a higher source. I simply stated, “Son, you don’t need a role model or a daddy to be the greatest daddy in the world. All you have to do is be the daddy you always wanted and because you are so passionate about being a good daddy you go do the things with your children that you wanted to do with your daddy. You will be a better daddy than the kids that have daddies and just take them for granted. Most recently on Fathers Day I had gone to the cemetery to visit Cole in the early hours of the morning. On the way back I began to think about Chase and how special he was and what an honor it was just to be his daddy. I actually considered going and buying him a present to give him something back for the joy that it made me feel. I became emotional as I realized if I can feel this much joy in being a father then how much joy does our Heavenly Father feel in us being his children? Would he be as proud of me as I am of my sons? A question we should all ask ourselves. Happy Fathers Day Marc